never can i pretend to be something im not. whether it's for work purposes for the friend purposes, personal .. etc. etc. etc. ... never i can put on a front ... im too sensitive .. i cry when im affected by something .. i cry when you yell ... i may cry to myself when i dont understand. i always stand strong i always have my moments where you might think ... this girl NiQu3z is a ridah (giggles) ... she always keeps it moving ... but i do put a up a shield. a shield to protect those tears that you may bring ... a shield to protect that outer shell that may to the outside looks like shes a tough girl ... but inside im not that tough .. my heart is worn on my sleeve .. i cant help that i always try to reach out i cant help that i always try to help i cant help that stupidly ... i put others before myself at times. but is there something wrong with that? i thought that when you came across that person (male or female) ... you were supposed to open up and share your world ... that world that you keep hidden to yourself ... that world that you harbor inside where everything is always so perfect ... (gentle smile) .. perfect to the point is no struggles ... i feel that world should always live in you ... because before you can set forth and try to go hard against the reality of LIFE you have to mend the broken pieces inside first, well not the broken pieces but the struggle inside .. (i like that better) if i tend to my struggles inside my shield won't have to be worn the full 24 hours of a day ... (maybe) i want to know where i stand i want to know what i can do and i want to kno my place ... and before i can do all that .. i think i gotta deal with those demons and struggles .. (there goes that word again) on the inside before i can reflect to the outside .... how truly beautiful i am .... NiQu3z
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Interesting Piece....The way I view life is like a great big movie with all of us being actors within it. Externally, we may have to play a role or act as a character that does not truly represent the true self within us. That does not make us phoney or fake, but, instead, it makes us smarter and more flexible. Our inner self (thoughts, beliefs,spirit, etc.)is the treasure chest or should I say the Vault of our temple. We must at all times protect and guard it from intrusion by others that may not have our best interest at heart. Sometimes we have to pretend as a strategic move in order to live to fight another day, for every stand shouldn't be our last stand. In sum, view it as a poker game, you have to put on that poker face, and try not to reveal what u conceal inside, for if you do not pretend then that may be the end of your game.
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